The Superbowl

Once upon a time, I decided to watch the Superbowl. Others make a lot of fuss about it and I don’t really see why. For starters, there are so many ridiculous advertisements. First, there’s an ad about this vacation outing opportunity and the next one tells you how to improve your feet with this one weird Japanese footwear trick. There was even an ad warning people not to use a smartphone that, whenever you take a picture, breaks at a very high temperature! Apparently this heat, like an old explosives boat, sometimes shoots into the pelvis. I guess I can see why you’d want to recall that product.

Oh good, the game finally started. I see the emblem of the Beehive State (I guess that’s one of the teams?) and then just at that moment my computer decided to sign off by itself. Argh! I returned to see a caper involving the script, where the announcer was talking about some arch-like geological folds, instead of the game. Suddenly I guess fate decided to be a little tricksy and a bunch of Zulu infantry started hollering - quiet!

At this point my lower jaw was cognizant of my thirst, so I got out a ceramic cup, poured some tea, and sipped it. Much better. Now let’s talk about the game. For one, I know the players fouled so much (I mean, look at that obvious cutting) that it must have been too great of a demand for the referees to catch everything. The refs didn’t even see the MIT mascot catching some of the passes, although I suppose it did allow for some neat low-framerate pictures.

The more I watched, the more I felt concerned about the lack of safety in this game. They seriously put their players at risk both physically and mentally, which might’ve explained why by the final quarter, most of the players were clearly in madness. At least the battle aircraft post-game show was cool, especially showcasing their new teleportation technology on the road.

Oh boy! More ads! There was an ad comparing the perfect investment firm with its bankrupt competitors with investors filled with fury. Suddenly, someone called me on the phone, so I must have missed an ad showing an antelope in the plains. Oh well. But I made it back in time for a new hardware store ad with products ranging from dirt to storage covers to lubrication.

Fate rudely surprises me, when my window covering broke as I was watching the game - today must be my unlucky day! I am never watching the Superbowl ever again.